Lily, I'm not okay
by Chilaro
Summary: Based on the song I'm not okay by “My Chemical Romance”, it’s basically James remembering about how he lost his precious Lily Flower. Full summary inside. Oneshot.


**A/N This was just a random idea that popped into my head… I don't know how, or why, but it did. Anyway this is a oneshot, and it isn't very long.**

**Things you should know to make sense of this story: James is in his first year out of school, and one day Lily got angry at James for something and they broke up. Lily now has another boyfriend and James has often followed them on their dates, stalker-ish behavior, yes.**

**Disclaimer: I so don't own the charries, or the song by My chemical Romance. Only the plot and idea do I own.**

**On with the show!**

James sat on the bed in his room in "The Leaky Cauldron" with his head in his hands. Why did he have to be so stupid, why did he have to lie to Lily? He sighed through his tears as he remembered that night. Then he remembered the after affect and started crying harder.

_Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say._

_James was sitting at the table in Lily's house that he had been living in for the past few months. Across from him sat Lily, who did NOT look happy. Her facial expression could speak for her 'you're gonna get it, ooh you're gonna get it now. That's it, you got it' with that she stood up and started yelling at James. James then stood up and yelled back._

_I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way._

_James stomped out of the house and once he was out of eyesight of Lily's house, he collapsed into a heap and broke down. Back at Lily's, Lily was watching as James walked down the street then she too collapsed onto the sofa and cried._

_For all the dirty looks,_

_As James passed Lily by the Ministry of Magic Lily threw his a dirty look and then ignored him. He simply hung his head a little after she had passed and looked hurt._

_The photographs your boyfriend took,_

_Lily and a man were sitting in a field of green grass as the man passed grapes to Lily, told her to hold them while he reached into his bag and got out his camera. He positioned the camera at her and snapped some shots of her and himself._

_Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?_

_"Lily! Don't do it!" James yelled, he was back at school again, when Lily and he were going out, but her ex had come up to her and told her that he loved her. He had done so much to her, tried to give her love potion etc._

_"James, I must, it's all too hard! It's the only way to end this!" Lily sobbed from the open window sill. She looked at him for what she thought was the last time and then turned to face her doom. She was about to jump when James yelled "Wait!"_

_She spun around and said "James you aren't changing my mind, so quit trying"_

_"Please Lily, at least wait for me to leave, I couldn't bear watch you…" James said as he cried softly._

_Lily looked at him and then nodded "I'll give you thirty seconds to go."_

_James ran to his dorm picked up his broom and flew out his window and positioned himself under the window Lily was at. As Lily looked out into the sky she faced up and shouted "I love you James and always will! Remember me." She jumped out the window and closed her eyes. She collided with something sooner than expected and she realized that she was alive. She opened her eyes to see James clutching her._

_"No James!" she yelled "I want it to end! I want it to END NOW!" she tried to lunge from his arms but he just caught her foot. He felt something crack in her foot._

_I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out_

_What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?  
(I'm not okay)  
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means  
(I'm not okay)_

_Lily stepped up to the platform and took the microphone from the stand. She looked out upon the school in front of her. She shook slightly as the music began._

_"Didn't know what to say when you walked into my life._

_You walked in and you couldn't have cut me better with a knife,_

_You were to good for me, and I couldn't control my shaking knees,_

_Coz they were all a quiver, when you walked in"_

_Everyone clapped as she bowed and took her seat._

_To be a joke and look, another line without a hook,_

_Lily and James were by a lake with a fishing rod stuck into the ground as James sat back with his arm around her waist. There was a large tug on the rod. James sat up straight as he yanked the rod from the ground and started reeling the fish in. she stood up and used all his strength to keep reeling. Lily giggled as the look of glee on his face turned to serious determination. Suddenly the line broke and James tumbled backwards. Lily really laughed this time at the look on James' face. He picked up the rod and looked at the line. There was a line but the hook had been tugged off. Lily was still laughing when James turned and lunged towards her. They tumbled down a hill. When they stopped, Lily was on top of James they looked into each others eyes for a while and then Lily leant in to James and kissed him._

_I held you close as we both shook _

_Lily was sitting by the lake. She had just run out of the great hall during dinner after getting an owl. The moon reflected on the lake. She looked at this and she didn't notice someone walking up behind her. The figure dropped beside her and wrapped his arms around her. He had read the letter that she had dropped as she ran from the hall. It had said that her parents were murdered. James and Lily sat there for ages, comforting each other, shaking slightly._

_for the last time take a good hard look!_

_I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out_

_I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out_

"Lily, can't you see? I'm not okay, without you" James wispered before he fell into a deep slumber.

**END**

**I know, this wasn't the best fanfic ever written, but it's the first one that I have done, so give me some feedback, criticism or corrections. Thank you for listening. Oh and I'm sorry about the lame ending…**


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